Haze ah~~

Look up in the sky!
There's no birds!
There's no planes!

Cos the only orh lu lu thing you can see is the haze!

Recently Singapore kena some hazey situation ah... from a certain country that i will not lah. But everyone knows which one i am talking about by hey you know, let's just keep my mailbox free of lawyer letters. So here goes... Comments on the orh lu lu thing in the sky!


Few things i noticed when the last fri & sat with the haze ah. Is that..

1. No birds

Er.. i think that's the only thing i can remember lah, maybe another thing is that it makes me sick lah. Everytime go out ah got that oily oily smell seh. Then it causes me to curse and swear more also.

Up next we will study the pros and cons of this haze-thingy.

------------------------------------News Flash!--------------------------------


On tonight's news @ 7:36pm we bring you the anal-ysis of the haze that has struck Singaporeans by shocking surpise...

Video conferences from the SHOO(Singapore Haze Outcasting 'Orang') indicates that the PSI(Puah! Sway! Index) is an sibei unhealthy score of 130 and above... These were the quotes from the conferences.

"Wah lan eh! The PSI hor sibei unhealthy ah! Wah got 130 liao lo."

"Siao bo... still laising leh..."

"Laise some more Singapore don't need to breathe liao ah! Haiyo die lah..."

"Kanina! Chao...." *ZAP*

*Conference ends*

*Back to the news guy*

Wah lau... Where got bad word one... fu... *feedback* Holy shit! I didn't know the mic was...!

*Ahem* Such petrifying report from the SHOO. The SHOO has also warned all citizens to Please Stay Indoors as long the intimidating Haze continues to engulf our beautiful island.

Coming up, we have John who's out in the Haze to bring us a life report of the situation outside the safe borders of this building.

John can you hear me?!

*Cam on John Live!*

Hey! Hey! News Guy! Yup...! I'm outside in this Haze! The only thing that stand between me and the Haze is this special mask that protects me from certain death from inhaling too much of the Haze!

News Guy: "Did you just say certain death John?!"



Yes! Yes I did News Guy! These poor souls are doom to die without this special mask!
I will try to interview them before they all die...

*stops a passer by*

Yo! how are you doing man?!

Old uncle: "Aiya.. No problem one lah! Lim bei live so long liao ah wad Haze never see before?! These young people a bit bit then die liao! Not zai one! Hai..."

So I see! So wad are your comments on this Haze?

Old uncle: "Wah lan... The *country will not be named* stupid sia! Wad burn trees lah... Make the whole world suffer... Then somemore ah! Now moon cake festival ah! Cannot see the moon ah! Haze untill the Chang er 's rabbit also become black color liao lo! Haiz.. She should not have eaten the pink color grape ah... IF not ah~"

*interrupts* Oh yes! Yes! We do not need to know what caused Chang Er to go to the moon lah... Ha Ha Thanks uncle! Back to you News Guy!



Thank you John! That's the end of our news... What? The pros and cons of Haze? No lah... That's the programme that we interrupted for the news mah... aiyo! Back to the programme!

Thank you Citizens!


---------------------------------End News Flash-------------------------------


That was some long news huh... Well back to my pros and cons of the stupid Haze lah... Let's start off by listening to the Gooood Stuff...

Goood Stuff:

1. Can tell the boss u sick, because of Haze. They cannot do anything one.

2. Got excuse to stay at home when people ask you out but lazy.

3. Got excuse to curse and swear then you just blame it on the Haze.

4. Can blame the Haze for almost anything.

5. It covers up the sun.

The Bad Things:

1. You can really get sick.

2. It covers up the moon.

3. It covers up the sun.

4. Excuse for parents to tell you cannot go out.
(But it's true lah. I'll stand on my mom's side for this matter.)

5. Those lazy friend finally get a flawless excuse why he/she cannot go out with you.

6. Always need to on Air-con at home.

7. It gets freaking hot.

8. Makes you seh`!

9. Haze + Second hand smoke = Die even faster.

10.Haze just sucks.

As you can see the bad things are two times the amount of the good ones... what's more the good ones ain't all that good either...

This concludes for today's Hazanalysis.
Stay tuned for "How did Chang Er even end up there?!"